Strangely enough, it all turns out well.

Wed, 18 Jan 2006 19:05:23 GMT

It's been a while since I don't post here.

I was all ready to have a lovely nap but I can't... a building just outside my window is being restored and the noise is driving me nuts. I hate that "construction" kind of noise. Sigh... I should be listening to the ocean or something (not that I'm on the coast, but whatever), but that building is giving me a bad headache for several days. I mean, why restore that? It's not like it's a monument.

My mother is not at home and I'll sort of "look after" my dad until she comes back tomorrow. Not that he needs looking after, but he can't do anything in the kitchen so I'll give him dinner and make him company for a bit. He says there is no need for me to do anything, but knowing my dad, if I leave him without dinner he will eat cookies with milk, which is ok if he likes, except that he can't enter the kitchen without leaving this godawful mess and my mother can't stand that. And neither can I. So I'll try to make him eat food and then clean up. Sort of like trying to be a good daughter. I know he feels a bit lost when my mother isn't around. And it doesn't surprise me, because my mother is the best person I have ever met. /gush

I wish my dad would stop working so much. It's very disturbing to see someone working so hard and - horror of horrors - not wanting to stop.

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 14:03:55 GMT

Happy New Year to everyone. I was gone for a week and am just getting back to the joys of traffic jams and even floods. If it wasn't for my computer I would be wishing I hadn't even come back, which I'm sure sounds awfully nerdy. And it is. I mean, it wasn't even raining where I was, and the view was beautiful, and I could relax. Best of all, the phone didn't ring every two minutes. It barely rang at all, and that was a great thing. Most of the time I'm allergic to phones ringing. No cute guys around and my parents were there, so who wants the bloody phone anyway?

2005 sucked so much for me and I'm just glad it's over. Hopefully this year won't suck that much.

I ordered a DVD which should have arrived around Christmas and it still isn't here. I even left a neighbour in charge of keeping it for me and they swear nothing came. Except bills, and a credit card I didn't ask for. That doesn't sound like a great start, but on the plus side, I also got a free massage for my birthday which is only next week, so I'll think about good things while I pay the horrid bills.

Mon, 26 Dec 2005 17:32:46 GMT

I'm leaving tomorrow and will be out of town for about a week, which is all very well, except that I'm sure I'll have withdrawal because there won't be a single computer handy. I'm so sad.

Anyway, if by any chance I don't post here again today, I'd like to wish everyone a happy New Year. Hope 2006 is way better than 2005, but worse than 2007. Ok, so that was a bit cheesy but I meant it well. Happy New Year and all the best to everyone.

Fri, 23 Dec 2005 12:57:37 GMT

Just wanted to wish everyone a wonderful holiday if you're around or even not reading this, I'll be thinking of everyone (whether you celebrate it or not). Hope Santa is extra generous this year and brings you not just presents but all the best. :)

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 18:09:20 GMT

There is one of those violent winds outside and I'm afraid there might be a storm today. Not a big deal, I really don't mind rain or snow or anything, but storms make me nervous. It's like they take me back to when I was a child and afraid of lightning. I still don't like it, mainly because these storms can cause the electricity to go off and I hate that so much. I'll all for staying in the dark when I'm in the mood, but that's when I know I can turn on the lights any moment I wish. Or see a movie, or listen to music. Or stay at my computer. Or anything really.

Goodness, most useless post ever.

But I'm feeling better about Christimas, at least so far. Did all the shopping yesterday and it was a nightmare but at least that part is over.

Tue, 29 Nov 2005 00:28:32 GMT

I shouldn't be here typing yet, but I'm relieved. I saw another doctor today and the thing with my right shoulder/arm is definitely not serious. I was scared thinking all sorts of horrible things, but it should stop being painful with a bit of physiotherapy, and I'm looking forward to not being in agony anymore. Hope I get to do one session tomorrow, or Wednesday at the latest, because physiotherapy may be boring, but it rocks in cases like this when you're in agony and just want it to go.

He told me I didn't actually hurt myself; apparently it all began due to stress. (!!) Ugh. I need to learn how to be all relaxed all the time, but I fear that would be like turning into another person.

Nothing else, I guess.

On a fandom side note, Joseph was at the Savoy today and gave away that best director award to Michael Grandage, just as I had hoped. Both of them must have been really happy and that's a very pretty mental image.

I wish December wasn't so uncomfortably close.

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 23:46:47 GMT

Got a Joseph alert and thought I would post it here since I don't post elsewhere anymore (and by "elsewhere" I mean certain chat groups where nobody ever chats, nothing to do with LJ or communities here). According to the Evening Standard, he will present the Evening Standard Theatre Awards for best director on Monday.

Shortlisted for the Sydney Edwards Award for best director are Sir Richard Eyre for Hedda Gabler and Mary Poppins, Michael Grandage for Don Carlos and Grand Hotel and Jonathan Kent for As You Desire Me.

The award will be presented by Joseph Fiennes who is currently starring in the revival of Epitaph For George Dillon, by John Osborne and Anthony Creighton, at the Comedy Theatre. The award for best play will be presented by Sinead Cusack who will soon be seen in BBC1 sitcom Home Again.

Great directors all of them, but I have a soft spot for Michael Grandage since he directed Joseph as Edward II. ;)

Sir Elton to cheer on Billy
By Tom Teodorczuk, Evening Standard
24 November 2005

Sir Elton John and Gillian Anderson are among the stars who will attend the 51st Evening Standard Theatre Awards at the Savoy on Monday.

Anderson, who is starring as Lady Dedlock in BBC1's adaptation of Charles Dickens's Bleak House, will present the best designer award at the capital's most prestigious theatre event.

Since she quit the hit sci-fi series The X-Files, Anderson has twice appeared on stage in London - in The Sweetest Swing In Baseball and What The Night Is For.

The contenders for the award are Paul Brown for As You Desire Me, Bob Crowley for Mary Poppins and Christopher Oram and Paule Constable, jointly, for Don Carlos.

Sir Elton will be cheering on Billy Elliot, the smash hit show for which he wrote the songs, in the best musical category. He will be joined by the show's executive producer and his partner, David Furnish. Billy Elliot faces competition from Sir Cameron Mackintosh's Mary Poppins and The Big Life.

This year's awards will be presented by Ned Sherrin, marking a welcome return for the writer who last fronted them in 1997.

"It's always my favourite gig," Sherrin said. "It's a great reunion of all the people you want to meet in theatreland. There's a very good list of contenders this year."

Shortlisted for the Sydney Edwards Award for best director are Sir Richard Eyre for Hedda Gabler and Mary Poppins, Michael Grandage for Don Carlos and Grand Hotel and Jonathan Kent for As You Desire Me.

The award will be presented by Joseph Fiennes who is currently starring in the revival of Epitaph For George Dillon, by John Osborne and Anthony Creighton, at the Comedy Theatre. The award for best play will be presented by Sinead Cusack who will soon be seen in BBC1 sitcom Home Again.

In the running for best play are Bloody Sunday by Richard Norton-Taylor, Harvest by Richard Bean, The Home Place by Brian Friel and Two Thousand Years by Mike Leigh. Felicity Kendal will present the best actor award to one of three nominees: Brian Dennehy for Death Of A Salesman, Simon Russell Beale for The Philanthropist and Derek Jacobi for Don Carlos.

Arnold Wesker, who won the Evening Standard Theatre Award for most promising playwright in 1959, will present the Charles Wintour Award for most promising playwright, which comes with a £30,000 cheque.

Wesker is currently enjoying a run of success with his new play Longitude, which was staged at the Greenwich Theatre last month while the Tricycle Theatre recently revived his first play Chicken Soup With Barley. The nominees for the most promising playwright award are Ryan Craig for What We Did To Weinstein, Neil Leyshon for Comfort Me With Apples and Simon

Mendes da Costa for Losing Louis. The ceremony will be hosted by Lady Rothermere, wife of Lord Rothermere, chairman of Daily Mail and General Trust, owner of the Evening Standard.

Other stars at the event include John Hurt, Stephen Daldry, Emilia Fox, Alan Rickman, Nicholas Hytner, Michael Frayn, Fiona Shaw, Brenda Blethyn, Sir Peter Hall, Diana Quick, Jonathan Pryce, Prunella Scales, Timothy West, Eve Best, Claire Bloom, Peter Bowles, Brian Friel, Rupert Graves, Clare Higgins, Julia McKenzie, Lesley Manville, Alison Steadman and Patrick Stewart.

My shoulder is still in pain but maybe it's very slowly getting better. I haven't noticed much change yet but I'm hopeful. Otherwise I'll have to kill the doctor who gave me the stuff I'm taking. This hurts.

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 01:48:47 GMT

My shoulder is in pain. Add insult to injury, I have to work on something that sucks. *hates*

I should be giving my shoulder a rest. But I don't want to.

Found that Joseph is going to do another play which is supposed to debut next spring in London; a one man play written specifically for him. No idea about exact dates or how long it will run, but I really want to go. Odd that this one is supposed to go to the East of London as opposed to the West End. Typical of Joseph, doing something at a place nobody goes to, just to help a theatre raise money. Have to check this out more carefully when my shoulder stops screaming in agony.

I really should stop typing for today. Darn, I hate pain.

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 17:11:04 GMT

Being back home sucks sometimes.

Just thought I'd mention that.

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 19:09:28 GMT

Still at my uncle's, and I'm alone in his house because he's in Russia on business all this month so I won't even see him. On the one hand that's bad because I really like this uncle, but being alone here is kind of cool as well, and I get to use his computer as much as I want.

I saw the play. Joseph is magnificent, and the rest of the cast is pretty good as well. I'm not a John Osborne fan, so I liked Edward II and Love's Labours Lost more as far as the writing for Joseph plays go, but I'm a sucker for those classical writers. Joseph as Edward is still the best stage performance ever IMO (and has those extra points for the number of times he cuddled James D'Arcy on stage), but he's fantastic as George, even if I'm not a big fan of the writing. All the cast is strong and the production is excellent. I'll see it again during the week, for sure.

I forgot to eat today. Sometimes I just forget to eat, it's ridiculous, and now I'm starving. Will have to look for the goodies; I know there are some in the house.

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 14:23:18 GMT

Isn't it hellish to pack stuff to travel? It would be so nice to just go.

Anyway, my uncle will be travelling on business so I'll have his house pretty much for myself in Amsterdam. It's kind of like house-sitting in a way. But I get to use his computer as well, so I won't have withdrawal while I'm there and at home. No wonder he's my favourite uncle.

From there, it's London and seeing Joseph on stage. How exciting; I haven't seen him on stage since 2001 when he played Edward II, which was fantastic. It's about time.

Man to Man

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 01:07:09 GMT

I'm just returning from a screening of Man to Man. I thought it was well made, beautifully shot, the actors are really good and it's entertaining, even funny at times. There is quite a bit of humour in some parts. And Joseph even does a bit of singing in one scene, how cute is that?

One or two minor things about the script grit here and there; I mean there were one or two things I didn't quite get, and/or could have done without, but to say this movie is bad is grossly, grossly unfair. I certainly liked it and want to see it again. There are some "awww" scenes, and it wasn't just me thinking it. I heard "awww" from the rest of the audience at some points. When I was leaving the theatre I heard people were commenting that they liked it.

Critics should drown in their own vomit.

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 16:15:59 GMT

Darn Sundays. Where has the weekend gone? I have tickets to see Man to Man on Tuesday and Wednesday. Weird to see it two days in a row, but it's a film festival so it's not like I can choose, and I wanted to make sure I would have tickets to see it more than once just in case. They will screen it on Thursday too, but that theatre is far and the time is not good.

I'm a tad disappointed because all three sessions are taking place at no less than the rush hours, and although they are three different theatres, traffic is equally horrible to all three of them. Plus, it's a freaking festival, which basically means you'd better get there early and have patience because it's going to be crowded and you'll have to get in line if you want a decent seat. I hate getting in line and I'm not a patient person, at all, but what the heck?

It's not that I'm so worried about seats, but I don't like to get the front row for a movie. I'm more than happy to get a front row seat for plays with Joseph, but for his films... well, I don't see the point, he's not actually there anyway.

Yesterday I finally got rid of the stitches, all is well and over and I can eat again, anything I want. Phew, for someone who doesn't eat much I surely missed food during the past week. I don't think I'll want ice cream for a while.

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 22:23:25 GMT

Haven't been around much. I had a minor surgery on Friday and I'm fine but still feel like crap. I thought I would have gotten rid of the stitches by tomorrow, but no such luck. They stay until next Saturday. Ugh. I'm not in pain, just very, very very uncomfortable.

I'm quite fond of ice cream, but when that's all you can eat... well, I'm tired of ice cream. Even chocolate ice cream isn't doing much for me at this point. I'm so dreaming of a good pizza. I'd be happy if I could eat fruit properly, or just about anything really, but for now I just get ice cream, soup and fruit juice. This week is going to suck.

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 22:03:44 GMT

Day was boring. Sitting while little kids run around screaming. I didn't go sky diving because of this, and the weather was wonderful. My nephews didn't care if I was there or not since they were playing. I find these "obligations" (ie, Christmas, birthdays and the likes) very annoying and frustrating. Heck, I hate Christmas, and even my own birthday is annoying because sometimes I want to go out but have to "wait and answer the phone". I think it's very sweet of people to remember and call, but I'm not very fond of the telephone.

And I didn't have time to work out today again, which is really a downer. Will have to work out tomorrow at all costs, because on Friday there is that surgery and I don't think they will recommend exercise. :(

I got a new shampoo, thought I'd try out something different. It's ok, but I didn't really like it. Beh.

I have work to do tomorrow, but it's so tricky and I'm getting stuck. May have to ask for help.

Oh yeah, when I was leaving the birthday party my sister-in-law actually invited me to go to their house. She tried to be nice. Shocking.

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 01:55:28 GMT

I'm such a procrastinator... and I feel no shame in saying it. Just thought I'd get it out of the way.

I'm running out of books to read. That's scary. I mean, there are books out there, I have only read all the ones I have here. So I decided to watch a Russian movie by director Andrei Tarkovsky. The film is supposed to be fantastic but I wasn't really getting into it, and it was so long and slow paced, which is fine, but I was tired. Didn't want to fall asleep in the middle of it, so I switched it off. Maybe some other day.

The truth is, I had a ghastly date last night. Ghastly dates are always tricky, and they never want to leave.

I wish I were somewhere else right now, doing something different. I'll have to think about it.

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 22:41:00 GMT

I haven't updated this in a while, and I haven't been good at leaving comments either. I was just not in a posting mood.

But I'm feeling so grumpy. Like for example, I hate dentists.

Now that's nothing personal, I loved my ex-dentist as a person, he was great. Really, he was a very nice chap. But he died, and I'm angry that he died because I was left with smug, stupid dentists who basically act like their shit doesn't stink. I hate that. Really, I can't understand it, they inflict torture on us when we are helpless, they make conversation and ask questions when they bloody well know that we can't answer because we have their hands stuck in our mouths. Ugh. Their tone of voice is... condescending. And we still pay them fortunes, it's indecent. I'd like to sit some of them on their chairs and treat their teeth myself, one by one. That would do them good.

There should be a way to have fun with spammers without the risk of getting even more spam. I can't take spam anymore. I just checked my mail and I had about 50 messages, 45 of which were junk. I never open them but I can't help noticing their existence. Some of them come in languages that I didn't even know existed. And there is always the spam with virus as a bonus. Sure, I have protection against that, but it still pisses me off. Others are huge messages full of stupid attachments and embedded images. I don't look at them, but that crap uses my bandwidth, and that pisses me off. Something has to be done about this crap, it's atrocious.

Bloody, bloody Monday

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 19:39:46 GMT

There has been something wrong with my car for weeks, and every time I take it to be fixed, while it's there, suddenly nothing happens and they can never find the problem. Which means they never fix it properly. That pisses me off because I love my car, and I know it's not exactly new anymore but it's been with me ever since it was born and I really take care of it, so it is as if it were brand new.

Now I lost the whole day because of this again. And again they can't find anything wrong? I give up. I refuse to drive it until it's fixed, otherwise one of these days it may end up... breaking, I don't know. They ask me what the problem is and where. How the hell can I guess? I'm not an expert in cars, I just drive mine, finding the problem and fixing it is not my job. That's why I've been paying them.

Bottom line is, I've got nothing done and the day was a waste. Great.

Fri, 23 Sep 2005 15:28:16 GMT

Feel better, at least the silly crying is gone. And it's Friday, which is always a good thing.

That said, I have to admit that I'm a little restless. And I've been putting off stuff that I really have to do.

Yesterday I was checking the titles that are coming to the film festival in October, and there are things that I want to see. I was looking for Man to Man and couldn't find it listed among the 360 titles. I panicked. So I looked again. Nothing. I cringed. Then I decided to search by the director's name and typed Wargnier, and it came up... ouf! Except... well, I was looking for Man to Man or a translation of the title, but how hard would it have been to translate something as simple as Man to Man? Right? Well, when it came up that was not the title, they had bloody changed it to The Missing Link. In Italian, yes, but still... I hate it when they do that, pick a title and totally change it without reason. How could I have guessed that they had decided to translate "Man to Man" into "The Missing Link"? Ugh.

Still, I'm looking forward to seeing it come October. And there will be Manderlay and Where the truth lies too, and several other things that I want to see. I still have to look at that list properly. No Asylum though. Darn. Although the way things are, maybe they changed that title as well, I'll definitely have to look.

Prettiest stage door ever. I need to get my bum in London asap. Still 45 days to go.

'Dukes of Hazzard? Me? I mean, hello?'

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 01:03:54 GMT

Found another Interview with Joseph from the Guardian.

Geesh, the British press really seems to give Joseph a bit of a hard time. Doesn't seem to happen in other countries. It annoys me that they are always bringing up one or two bad films that he did, but don't mention the Luthers, the Merchants of Venice, and so on. I would be screaming at these people. But he's so cute that I can't stand it. Darn, I really want to see the play. Like, right now. Granted, I have read it, but how can reading it be compared to seeing it with pretty Joseph? No way it can.

'Dukes of Hazzard? Me? I mean, hello?'

Joseph Fiennes tells Xan Brooks why he rejected a five-picture deal in Hollywood for £200 a week at the Royal Court Theatre

Wednesday September 21, 2005
The Guardian

Halfway through our interview, Joseph Fiennes shuffles his feet and announces that he has a problem. We have been discussing his acting career; his triumphs and disasters; the roles that have worked and the ones that have not. And all of this is missing the point. "The trouble is that you're talking about the product and I'm talking about the process," he explains with just the barest hint of testiness. "You're looking at it from the outside and I'm looking at it from the inside."

Fiennes is sitting on a park bench outside his rehearsal rooms. I've pulled another bench parallel and we have perched, knee to knee, like commuters in an old-time railway carriage. "Very Brief Encounter," he quips. Except it now transpires that we've been conversing at cross-purposes.

Seen from the outside, Fiennes' career goes something like this: in 1998 he was Hollywood's limpid star-du-jour, a rising talent with the world at his feet. Flushed from the double-whammy of Elizabeth (in which he played Robert Dudley) and Shakespeare in Love (as the Bard, pre-stardom), he was offered a lucrative five-picture deal with Miramax. He turned it down and went travelling in India instead. He returned to the stage (earning £200 a week at the Royal Court). He embarked on a range of leftfield, non-Hollywood productions. And, seen from the inside, this was exactly the right thing to do.

"I didn't want to get sucked into that world," he says. "And it all felt like a terribly long time. It would have meant that I had to make five movies in five years and if you don't like the movies, too bad. I guess I just wanted my freedom, and I think my life has been incredibly enhanced as a result. But it's a strange thing when people judge you because you're not doing some big Hollywood film. Are you suggesting I should be in The Dukes of Hazzard?" He raises an eyebrow. "I mean, hello?"

In place of a jaunt through Hazzard County, Fiennes is currently rehearsing his role in Epitaph for George Dillon, which opens this week at the Comedy Theatre. The play is a potent early work by John Osborne (writing alongside Anthony Creighton), a hothouse domestic drama that anticipates Look Back in Anger in its baleful attack on postwar suburban values. Fiennes stars as the tubercular lodger at an oppressive south-London home - an aspiring artist who might be brilliant and, then again, might not. "George has this monumental self-doubt," he explains. "I love the doubt that Osborne exposes with the character. You don't get that with [Look Back in Anger's] Jimmy Porter, where it's more of an assault." The script also affords him the privilege of playing a love scene with Francesca Annis, the long-term partner of his elder brother, Ralph. That must have been strange. "Not really," he says. "We're only acting."

Theatre is the linchpin for Fiennes. He says film acting is just a by-product of his love for the stage, and that he never thought about film when he was growing up, hardly ever visited the movies, and didn't even have a TV until he was well into his teens. There is a story that he was Roman Polanski's first choice to star in his Holocaust drama The Pianist but opted to tread the boards as Edward II instead. Is this true?

"Yep."

And no regrets? Not even when Adrien Brody went on to win an Oscar for the role?

"Well, that's his journey. I know that I might have only got Shakespeare in Love because someone else turned it down; it's a very small marketplace. So it would feel weird to say, 'Oh, yeah I could have been there on Oscar night', because the whole chemistry of the film is built around that particular actor. Who knows if it would have had the same effect with a different cast. It's a mercurial world of alchemy."

All of which is fair enough. Fiennes has turned down good movies in order to act in good stage productions. The trouble is that he has also turned down good movies to act in bad movies - to act, it must be said, in some truly awful movies. One thinks in particular of 2000's gangster-lad outing Rancid Aluminium, or Chen Kaige's bewilderingly inept Killing Me Softly, which cast him as the smouldering mountaineer who seduces a dazed-looking Heather Graham. "Together the pair have sex so 'passionate' that the continuity person failed to notice Graham's bra going back on halfway to climax," commented one reviewer.

Mention of Killing Me Softly elicits a weary sigh. "Well, it's so difficult to tell, isn't it? Because you've got a gentleman called Chen Kaige whose films I am a huge fan of. And then he comes to Hollywood and finds himself treated like a first-time director. There are so many mechanics at work, and I'm on the front line. And yeah, there will be films that succeed and films that bomb and I have no control over that; I couldn't be in the business if I were a slave to those responses." Presumably he feels that he has more control on stage. "Oh no," he smiles. "I've been in some pretty disastrous stage productions, too."

Fiennes, at 35, is the joint-youngest of seven children; 42-year old Ralph is the eldest. This age gap has helped define them in the public mind, with Ralph regarded as the serious elder statesman while Joseph plays the dashing young buck. Cate Blanchett has worked with both actors and noted the differences between them. "Ralph is very complex and intense," she once explained, whereas "Joe is open, direct, focused and a bit of a trickster." Fiennes says he would go along with that, although he insists that Ralph has his tricksterish side as well. "Once again," he cautions, "I'm seeing him from a different perspective." He means the inside as opposed to the outside.

In any case, the key fraternal relationship in Fiennes' life was not with Ralph but with twin brother Jake, who now works as a gamekeeper in Norfolk. The twins had a nomadic childhood, moving house 14 times in nearly as many years as the bohemian Fiennes brood shuttled between London, Wiltshire and Ireland. A pop psychologist might claim that each has reacted to these years in different ways. Where Jake's adulthood has been defined by a need to put down roots, to find a patch of soil to tend, Joe appears to have embraced the itinerant life of the travelling player.

"Yeah, I guess that's fair," says Fiennes. "And in a weird way my childhood was a great precursor to where I am now. Every year I had to learn how to interact in a new schoolyard, reinventing myself if one character didn't work. In hindsight I can see that it was great actor's training. But it was just the art of survival, really. Trying not to get beaten up in the playground."

At the age of eight he was cast in the lead role of a school play. "I can remember it like yesterday. Just being handed this role and feeling that I'd been picked up and dropped off in the right place." What was the play? "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat," he says, enunciating each syllable with a dramatic flourish. "And I was Joseph. So all the signs were pointing in the right direction."

By this time Jake was already following a more horny-handed, outdoorsy course. "He was heavily into taxidermy," Fiennes recalls. "And he was brilliant at it, even when he was about nine or 10. You'd open the fridge and it would be full of foxes, stoats and weasels. I mean, I loved the countryside, too. I was always off building campfires in the wood. But I was never especially into stuffing animals."

Even so, I wonder if there might have been a point when the twins might have switched places; if a flip of the coin could have installed Joe as the gamekeeper and made Jake the movie star. "It's funny," says Fiennes. "I remember my mum telling me that she once took us to a child psychologist. I don't know why; I think we were beating each other up. And the psychologist said, 'Now listen. Jake is so talented and Joe is really pulling him back and being very detrimental to his growth, and if Jake is to fulfil his potential you really have to think about separating them.' Then my mum went for a second opinion and the second guy said, 'You know, Joe is incredibly talented but he's not really going to get anywhere because Jake keeps pulling him down.' " He smiles. "So there was a sense that we were always quite interchangeable."

Fiennes says that it was a happy childhood, but he is wary of putting too rosy a gloss on it. He regrets not having any longterm friends; mates that he has known from infancy. On top of that, he says that money was often tight, what with there being seven kids to feed, clothe and educate.

I can't help but express a slight scepticism at this point. I was under the impression that Fiennes is minor aristocracy (part of the Twistleton-Wykeham-Fiennes dynasty). How hard could it have been? It has been rumoured that he is eighth cousin to the Prince of Wales.

Fiennes tuts in exasperation. "You see, this is incredible," he says. "You read that on the net. The net is a highway of lies. I was doing a junket in LA recently and this same thing came up. Let's get back to the truth, please."

Ah, but the truth can be a tricky and elusive creature. When spread over a man's childhood, education and career it defies pigeonholes. It incorporates highs and lows, good times and bad, the Shakespeares in Love and the Killing Me Softlys. Perhaps this is what Fiennes is getting at when he criticises the difference between our two perspectives. I'm judging him as the finished article. He sees himself as a work-in-progress.

"I can only put myself in the process and try to learn through the process," he says. "Sometimes it will go well and sometimes it won't." And anyway, he asks, who hasn't failed at some stage or other? "Who has gone through their lives without those ups and downs, whether they are a journalist or an actor or a painter or an accountant? There are always going to be times when it doesn't flow as much as you were hoping. So of course I'm going to fail. And when I do fail I hope I fail better and better, again and again." He looks almost exultant. "I am happy to fail"

Epitaph for George Dillon is at the Comedy Theatre, London SW1, until January 14. Box office: 0870 060 6637.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/features/story/0,11710,1574591,00.html

Fri, 16 Sep 2005 16:50:28 GMT

Haven't updated this in a few days, and there isn't much going on really.

My ISP is back to normal.

I no longer have trouble visiting certain sites.

I just found out that Man to Man is coming to the film festival over here in October, so it will be in town and I'll get to see it in a cinema. Yes!

That's about it. :)

Sunday rant

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 17:00:14 GMT

My ISP sucks this weekend.

It was down for several hours yesterday, then back for a bit, then down again. I was cursing them over the phone and they go, "sorry for the inconvenience". Ugh! I hate it when people say that, it just pisses me off. I mean, why don't they do something instead of saying "sorry"?

Anyway, eventually it got back last night but I was on my way out to have a drink. So this morning I think, ok, it has to be fixed by now, and the freaking thing was down again. Can't they fix it once and for all? Who the hell hired them? Whoever they are.

I considered using dialup while this was going on, but dialup would have driven me off the wall. Now ISP got back online and I'm wondering how long it will last this time. That's just not amusing anymore.

Plus for some reason now I can't get to this Joseph site that I wanted to check out to see if there was anything new that I hadn't seen yet. So either the site is down or my ISP is suddenly weirding on it. I'm so not impressed.

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 23:18:11 GMT

My plans for sky diving are on stand by. According to my expert friend the weather wasn't very good and neither of us had plans to drop dead this weekend. Although maybe he was just making up an excuse, what the heck do I know?

I'm not upset though, yesterday I sprained a leg muscle anyway. I don't know how I managed to do that walking up the stairs while it never happens when I'm, say, working out or something. I always hurt myself in the most stupid possible way, like walking down the street. I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow, it was no big deal, just bothers a tiny little bit now and then.

I should catch a movie, and I'd like to make a mood set, but I'm very lazy about this. If I get started today it might get ready within a year or something.

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 22:27:23 GMT

I've been tired lately. I would like to sleep until Friday afternoon, because then I wouldn't have to think about work. It's still kind of weird, I'm not usually a "sleeper". Maybe that's the problem though; I don't sleep enough and eventually feel it.

There is this guy I have known for ages (ok, for years), and he was working in Asia for a while and now is back. So he called me to say hello and yipeeee... he remembers that before he left for Asia he promised to take me sky diving some day, because he's pretty good at it, and he suggested this Saturday if the weather helps. I was so excited that I didn't even ask where we would do that. Somehow I doubt we could do it in Verona, wonder if he means the mountains.

I have been wanting to do that for a long time but I can hardly go alone since I don't know how to do it and would probably drop dead somewhere. But with someone else taking me, I'm in. That must be so cool. I'm very excited.

Oh, of course I do sweetheart. Just not as much as I love Sophia Loren.

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 00:22:05 GMT

Somehow, I hadn't gotten the chance to see The Life and Death of Peter Sellers until this evening. Finally saw it. Geoffrey Rush totally rocks as usual. Love that man.

Nothing to do with the movie but I'm really tired, which sucks since I don't like to go to sleep before 3 am. Tonight I may just have to.